Women being mean to each other is still sexism!
I’ve been hearing a lot recently about how if women are horrible to other women (such as rude comments about dress/look such as Germaine Greer’s regarding Julia Gillard or that dished out to Ashley Judd, or as per the accusations of Samantha Brick in saying other women can’t stand her for being attractive), then clearly it’s not the patriarchy we need to be concerned about, rather it’s women. Women are holding each other back! Women are oppressing themselves! Men have nothing to do with it! &c.
This argument comes from a flawed understanding of what the patriarchy actually is. The patriarchy is not ‘men’, just like ‘The Man’ isn’t ‘men’. Few specific men actually do anything particularly wrong. When we talk about the patriarchy, we’re talking about an ideological, intangible system whereby men happen to hold a dominant position. It refers to the way society is organised, not to actual people.
The fact that women are subjected to pressures regarding how they look is not the fault of men, it is the fault of our social organisation - the patriarchy. Those pressures are reinforced in daily life. People tell each other they’re ugly, they pressure each other to look a certain way, or they hate each other for individual choices. Incidentally, this is not just women telling other women that they choose unflattering clothes or women being mean to other women who are prettier than them. Firstly, there is an entire economy based on getting women to purchase certain products, to look a certain way - pressure is reinforced on TV, in advertising, the media, by the wallets of both men and women (usually men). Secondly, stereotypes which say that a woman who looks a certain way must necessarily have a certain personality are harboured by both men and women. The point is that this meaness (from want of a better word) may come from individuals, but it exists in a context which manifestly exerts that control on higher social levels too.
What many women have done is absorbed the social pressures and apply them to others on an individual level. Women have gotten the message from the patriarchal system that they need to look/dress/act/think in a certain way, and then they personally share that message with those who cross their path. The fact that woman A is being mean to another woman, B, is incidental. A is still representing the patriarchy (yes, women can do that!).
Ariel Levy explores this very phenomenon in her book, Female Chauvinist Pigs. She says that women are responsible for deriding each other and objectifying each other. Women who want to be respected in male dominated industries position themselves as ‘not really being like a girl’, writing off girls and pink and femininity as ‘silly’, saying that they don’t really get along with other women because they are too sensitive, not driven enough, full of drama and bitchiness, whatever. Women produce pornography that exploits young women (such as in Girls Gone Wild) and exclaim that featuring in these videos is empowering for them when really they’re just facilitating the male gaze. In any case, the phenomenon of women being mean to each other reinforces old stereotypes and is the absolute extension of patriarchy.
